No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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