Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
