check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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