We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
