and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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