I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
