We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
