THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
