Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
