smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
