I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
