this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If I die, sorry about rent.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
