hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
