Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
