I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
