btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
