Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
