I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
