Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
