nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
