HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
