she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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