At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
