how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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