I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
