im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
