she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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