never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
