At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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