he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
