just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
