I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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