Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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