So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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