so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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