cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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