Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
