you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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