If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
