I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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