what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
