If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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