should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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