WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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