omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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