is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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