How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
