i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
