why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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