Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
