Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
